


Every breaking wave

by Red_Queen



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:58:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Queen/pseuds/Red_Queen
Summary: A sort of AU where Victor coaches both Yuuri and Yuri.Yuri Plisetsky is not used to trust adults, so when he has to deal with some terrible ghosts of his past the thought of asking for help doesn't even cross his mind. He has more friends than he thinks, though, and they're more then willing to help, even if Yuri still doesn't know it.





	1. Melodies of sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case the tag weren't enough, I want to make super clear that this story, albeit without too many details, deals with pedophilia and rape attempt and has some very dark moments. You've been warned, again.
> 
> On a lighter note, I wrote this around ep. 2 and 3, while wondering what kind of relationship the three main characters may develop, and I realized the thing I wanted to see the most was for Victor and Yuuri to act like brothers toward Yuri. 
> 
> I volountary left unclear the relationship between Yuuri and Victor because it wasn't the main point and I still don't know if I truly ship them. I like complicated things and they're basically already canon, so it may be too easy for me XD 
> 
> English is not my first language (and I think this is also my very first story non centered on a pairing? D'ho! The power of an underage cutie!), please forgive my mistakes, I really did my best! 
> 
> (Is somebody interested in the origianl, italian version? It may come soon-ish)

_Like every fallen leaf on the breeze_  
_Winter wouldn't leave it alone_

 

 

 He literally had waited all of his life, and finally the moment to debut in his first senior Grand Prix arrived.

 

After months of intensive training, sacrifices, big plans and hopes, in which, among other things, Yuri Plisetsky had to endure the constant presence of the _other_ Yuuri, the wait was finally over.

 

It had been woth it, anyway, all of it, just to have Victor as his coach.

 

After a rough beginning things were arranged so that Victor could train both the skaters in Japan, at the same time, for the upcoming Grand Prix, which also marked the return of Yuuri Katsuki to official competitions.

 

Victor simply loved the challenge and found great entertainment in the way the two athletes acted around each other. Also, he was positive that the rivalry between them was a good thing. Yuuri was eager to learn, and to win too, but he still needed to find his confidence, and having the little russian punk close by all the time could influence him in that sense.

 

On the other hand it was obvious to the coach that the blond enjoyed Yuuri's company after all, and didn't found it as unpleasant as he claimed. Yuuri's calming presence would do a lot of good to tame the wild and sometimes mutinous spirit of his younger pupil.

 

The Japanese skater's talent became so obvious not even Yuri at the top of his grumpiness could deny it, infact the boy could certainly respect the other athlete for that, if nothing else. The teen's talent, instead, was still raw, but it shone through every single step he took on and off the ice, and Yuuri Katsuki considered a privilege to see it evolve in something truly unique and beautiful.

 

In the end a bond was born between the two skaters, that could very well be called friendship.

 

Not that Yuri Plisetsky would ever admit it out loud. To have someone to send to hell constantly was liberating, even though his words, while still harsh more often then not, soon lost almost all of their bite. So the hard months of training went by as smoothly as possible, considering the people involved and the fact that since Victor had brought his dog, Yuri demanded to have his cat with him.

 

 

 A few days before travelling to Danemark, where the Grand Prix would take place, Yuri left Japan and went back to Russia. He used that time for a short visit to his mother and siblings, who lived a few hundreds of kilometers from St. Petersburg, in the small industrial town where Yuri was born and spent the first, unexciting, years of his life.

 

He didn't like that place, there was not much there, not even good memories, but his mother never wanted to move to St. Petersburg. Life in the big city was too expensive, she said, it'd have been a waste of money. Yuri knew that she just didn't want to put other responsabilities on his shoulders because basically he was the one who supported the family, despite his age.

 

She also had a point, living in St. Petersburg was indeed expensive. The poor woman still had three very young children to take care of, and couldn't afford to pay a baby sitter, so working full time was not an option. All the money that Yuri could earn with his victories or sponsors were barely enough to substain his family where it was and himself in the city.

 

Yuri loved skating with all his heart, but he had to admit it was a very expensive sport, without much to be earned. Many times he had felt selfish for choosing to pursue his dream rather than to get a real job, like his father used to say.

 

Before leaving them.

 

The teen could, and would, blame the man for a lot of things, but he too had a point. Yuri was the eldest of his brothers, it was up to him to take care of them and of their mother, but training for professional skating took away all of his time and energy. Also, he was still underage, nobody would give him a regular job. He had learnt that at his own expences years before, when he was only ten years old. That had been, so far, the worst period of his life.

 

His mother, however, had always pushed and encouraged him to skate, and his siblings considered him an hero since the day he landed his first quadruple jump. Beacuse of that Yuri loved his family more than anything else and he was more than ever determined to win for them, if not for himself.

 

This thought always gave him strenght and renewed his enthusiasm, so when he spoke with Victor on the phone one last time before boarding the plane, he was so excited, in his tipical lowkey way, even his coach noticed.

 

“Already feeling that medal in your pocket, right?” Victor teased.

 

“Shut up, old man. Mind your business!” Yuri's answer had been so predictable that the older skater couldn't help laughing.

 

As young as Yuri was, Victor knew he had plenty of chances to atually win, and he was really proud of him. It'd be so great to have both his skaters on the podium, no matter in which order.

 

He also enjoyed a bit too much ruffling Yuri's feathers with good natured teasing, so he never wasted a chance. “You know, there will be many exceptional skaters, older than you, more experienced. You should keep your feet on the ground... or should I say on the ice?”

 

It wasn't a lie, after all. While self confidence was a good thing, overconfidence could do more harm than good, and Victor felt it was his duty as the boy's coach to remind him of this simple fact of life every time it was necessary.

 

The blond just shrugged, he knew exactly who Victor was thinking about, or so he thought, when he talked about exceptional, older skaters, and he didn't care. In that moment he really felt invincible, it was such a good sensation.

 

“I can beat every single one of them, including _him_!”

 

“We'll see” Victor said. Yuri couldn't see him but he felt the smile in his voice. He allowed himslef a smile too, since nobody could see him anyway and he ended the call. Then he entered the airport.

 

That time the teen didn't have to travel alone, there were other skaters, medical staff, coaches, and many other people who were part of the russian figure skating federation, all of them on the same plane. Yuri sat with his self proclaimed best friend Mila, who was noisy and annoying, but Yuri secretly liked her because she may act stupid, but on the ice she was a war machine with the grace of an angel.

 

She also provided a good distraction to forget the small taste of bitterness that visiting his family always left him with.

 

Yuri knew he had to leave certain memories behind, he knew he had to work har to build his own future, so he couldn't allow himself to get stuck in the past, and yet, every time he went home he remembered.

 

His father leaving, his mother crying, his grandpa dying. All the times the other kids at school, sons and daughters of narrow minded people, had called him a fag for loving a _girly_ sport, or cruelly teased him for his old and battered clothes. All the times he had feared his family couldn't afford to pay the rent, let alone his skating lessons.

 

Some things were just impossible to forget. It didn't help that he had the constant reminder of a small white scar on his side, a souvenir of the first and last time his dad had beaten him.

 

Yuri simply couldn't affor to let his mind go to certain places, though, not ever and especially not in a such important moment for his carreer, so he decided to focus momentarily on Mila's incessant chatter, and once the plane landed in Copenhagen, on the Grand Prix only. He had to make sure to get on that damn podium. Whatever it took.

 

Being such a young skater he had too many eyes on him, and medias weren't kind enough to spare him because of his age, in case of failure. His reputation as was at stake, and even more importantly, the future of his family could improve drastically if he won. He had the skills, he knew it. He had the talent. Victor had made sure he was ready as he could possibly be.  He just had to stay focused.

 

*******

 

Victor and Yuuri arrived a few ours later from Japan. They arranged things so that they'd all stay at the same hotel, just in front of the ice rink. Yuri could even see the beautiful, somehow intimidating building from his window.

 

When finally the long-awaited day arrived, the trio woke up early and went to the ice rink for one last training session. There were many skaters from all over the world, big names and newbies, coaches, coreographs, tons of fans, the press. Everything looked just sparkly and exciting as Yuri had always imagined.

 

After a few hours Victor sent both his athletes to eat and rest for a little while before the final warm-up.

 

The two skaters ate a light lunch at the cafeteria and when the small meal was over they found out it was already time to go back. Things were about to get real and that was when Yuri started to feel a bit anxious for the first time.

 

It was normal and the boy knew it, but for some reason he didn't want to show any sign of nervousism to Yuuri. The older skater, instead, had no problems in showing his own feelings, and the russian one said, only half-jokingly, that he was spreading the infection on purpose. The joke lightned the mood, but Yuuri was still a rival, so the blond thought that showing weakness in front of him was not a good idea and he decided to have a few minutes for himself. He parted from the Japanese skater with an excuse, saluting him with his middle finger.

 

Yuuri, who was now accustomed to this sort of behavior, didn't take it personally and answered with a smile before going back for the warm-up.

 

Yuri actually only needed a few minutes, just a few minutes to find himself again and regain concentration, then he'd be totally ready to face the exciting new challenge.

 

Wandering almost aimlessly, looking for a place where he'd be sure to be totally alone, he eventually found a small bathroom in the basement floor of the crowded building. It wasn't the royal palace, but Yuri wasn't used to luxury anyway.

 

He got close to the sink and contemplated his own reflection in the mirror, than he closed his eyes, lowered his head and took a deep breath. He had to focus, he needed to focus. He just couldn't let his nerves get the best of him. When it looked like he had a grip on himself again, the young skater smiled to himself, opened his eyes and lifted his head.

 

A cold shiver run trough his spine.

 

There were two reflections in the mirror, now. He wasn't alone anymore. He could see a pair of cruel, grey eyes, cold like the winter in his home town, in the middle of a male, ashen face.

 

Yuri liked neither that face not the way those two eyes were looking at him.

 

Who was that guy? Why was he staring at him without speaking? How could he enter the bathroom without being heard? He had something familiar, though, something Yuri liked even less than those cold cold eyes.

 

“Hi, kid” the man said, with a distorted smile which uncovered one golden thoot in his unpleasant mouth, “long time no see, uh? Look at you, all grown up!”

 

It was not so much the words as the sparkle of that golden tooth to turn on all the alarm bells in Yuri's mind. He remembered that feral smile, god, he remembered it all, now, and how to forget?

 

He was in trouble, he knew it. And the man knew it too.

 

It took the boy a while before he could find his voice. “NO!” It was all he managed to say, though, while turning suddently to face the man. Lev, his name was Lev, not that Yuri had any intention to ask.

 

The other took a step closer while the skater stood still like a statue. Yuri felt fierce anger growing inside his heart, but he couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he certainly couldn't scream.

 

One step more and the teen found himslef trapped between the sink and the bulky body of the other man, who kept on staring at him with lust and hostility at the same time.

 

“Same bad attitude. You didn't change at all, kid, but you know what?” the man said with a vicious laugh, “I like it, it turns me on.” Than he caressed the young skater's face with his huge, wet and dirty hand.

 

Yuri winced and tried without success to avoid Lev's unpleasant, unwanted touch, but there was no room to move. “How... how did you find me?” the boy asked to take time, but he was also genuinely curious. He remember that man, an old acquaitance from when he lived in his home town. He hadn't seen him since he moved to St. Petersburg, though, and he couldn't understand how that guy could now be in Copenhagen.

 

Lev just shrugged. “I work here, now. I clean the toilets. I saw you this morning and I thought, why don't I go and say hi to my little old friend?”

 

It was such an incredible story it could actually be true. Bad luck, nothing else. But it didn't really matter. The only thing Yuri wanted was for that disgusting man to go away and never come back.

 

“Go away!” he snarled, but his body started to tremble giving away how scared he actually was. He had to look so pathetic in that moment, just like he had been five years ago, when he and Lev first met. He was ashamed of himself but he just couldn't stop shivering.

 

The man, instead, was clearly having the time of his life. “Not yet, little one” he said as he got even closer. “First there's something we have to do. We have an unfinished business, you and I. Do you remeber?” Then, without giving Yuri time to answer, he grabbed a fistful of his blond hair and pulled, forcing the boy into a revolting, filthy kiss that tasted of alcohol and something rotten Yuri couldn't really identify.

 

That Lev had to be drunk and this scared Yuri even more. The teen struggled frantically, he tried to get free, to push the man away, but he was too strong and held Yuri so tightly he could barely breath. Then the dirty bastard started rotating his hips to make sure the boy could feel the bulge in his pants.

 

Sadly, it was not a new sensation for Yuri, but this didn't keep him from paniking. At least he found the strenght to push the other man so suddently and with such violence that the other fell on his ass.

 

Yuri insulted him and kicked him in the face, but it was a mistake that made him waste a few precious seconds. He run, then, but when he tried to climb over the man on the floor, Lev grabbed his leg and made him fall too.

 

The young athlete hit his knee and for a moment the pain was so intense it distracted him from everything else. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, as if it could block away the pain. It didn't work, of course, and when he opened them again Yuri saw the man on his feet, towering over him. Lev now was livid, looking at him with such a feral glare the teen almost thought he had somehow transformed into a real beast. The man was furious, for the fall or the rejection, or for being kicked, it wasn't important.

 

Then the bastard hit. He kicked the skater in the stomach while he was still on the floor. Then he kicked him again. And again. The sudden pain and the force of the blows cut off Yuri's breath and the boy was left gasping in pain, with the acid taste of bile in his mouth. He was scared like he'd never been before. Not a few minutes ago, not five years ago, when a similar scene had already taken place.

 

It wasn't the first time that dirty old man tried to take him against his will. Back then Yuri had managed to run before it was too late, but now he was sure if he didn't find a way to get out of that bathroom as soon as possible, something really bad would happen.

 

He had the presence of spirit to understand that his life was in danger. Lev was out of his mind, he had lost control and he didn't look like he was going to stop kicking him any time soon.

 

Yuri also knew that while he wasn't physically strong enough to fight the guy, he could still move much faster than him and he was good at improvising.

 

When Lev lifted his leg to kick him yet another time, Yuri choose to ignore the pain and fear and grabbed the man's ankle, then pulled to make him loose his balance. As drunk as he was, Lev found himslef on the ground again without much effort on Yuri's part.

 

It was now or never.

 

Yuri got up even if just standing was hard; it was like every single bone in his body hurt, and he was positive he was going to vomit, but he run as fast as his condition allowed. This time he managed to open the door and get out before the other man could get back on his feet.

Running away in the corridor Yuri heard Lev cursing and insulting him, "you little son of a bitch! I will get you, you can't hide forever!"  He ignored the threat, thought, because what else could he do? He just wanted to get away.

 

However the blond didn't go too far. He had managed to return to the ground floor without even knowing h ow, but as he run through t he main entrance door of the building he slammed against someone and for the first moments it was sheer panic. Although it was impossible, Yuri feared that Lev somehow had been faster than him. That monster had him now, and nobody would help. 

 

He started to wriggle, while two strong hands on his shoulders tried to keep him still. They were gentle hands though, almost reassuring, they weren't hitting him, they weren't forcing him into anything horrible.

 

“Yuri! Yuri!” 

 

It took a few seconds for Yuri's brain to notice that the voice calling his name belonged to a girl. It also was warm and kind, so finally he realized Mila, and not Lev, was in front of him, puzzled and worried.

 

The relief was so big Yuri almost felt like fainting, but he knew he had to hide how shaken he actually was. He didn't want the girl to know. He didn't want anyone to know how weak and pathetic he really was. Also Lev was probably already on his feet again, loking for him. He had to go.

 

“Oh, it's you” he managed to say. It wasn't nearly enough, judging from how the other skater was looking at him. She would not fall for any of his lies.

 

“Let me go” he said then, trying to hide behind his signature aggressive behavoiur. Mila didn't move, though, she stood where she was, visibly worried.

 

“Yuri, what happened?”

 

“Nothing, I've to go”

 

“Where? And why? And what about the competiton?”

 

Those last words were like a cold shower. How could he have forgotten? It was almost with terror that Yuri turned to the clock on the wall and realized it was terribly late. Maybe even _too_ late. He just wanted to be as far from Lev as humanly possible, he wanted to hide in a corner and cry, but he just could not do it. Not yet. He had to wait, he had to skate his awesome short program or he'd disappoint all the people he cared about. He could not let that happen.

 

Without another world he run to the locker room and changed at speed light. He also was lucky enough to find some light painkillers in his backpack. He had used them for a minor shoulder injury a few weeks before and never remembered or cared to put the bottle back where it belonged.

 

His phone was ringing non stop, now, it had to be Mila, or ever Victor who was surely wondering where the hell he was, but Yuri ignored it and swallowed an handful of pills, knowing perfectly well that they'd not be enough, still they were all he had at the moment.

 

Somehow he arrived right on time, albeit barely. Both Yuuri and Victor peppered him with questions, but he had to ignore them too, it was already his turn.

 

He reluctantly went on the ice when the speaker announced his name, still too shaken and aching, since the pills had the time to just dull the pain a bit. The worst thing, though, was the horrible sensation of still having Lev's eyes on him. Maybe that monster was in the crowd, searching for him, looking at him, thinking horrible, sick thoughts.

 

Yuri felt his own eyes watering up, but he forced himself to swallow the tears. Cameras were probably right on his face in that precise moment, he only hoped they weren't able to catch the trembling in his body, because he really, truly just couldn't stop shivering. He barely noticed when the music started and begun to move slightly late. Not enough to earn himslef the first detraction already, but he was sure the judges had noticed his esitation, and Victor too.

 

  
The program he had worked on for so many months opened with a triple-triple combination.

 

He fell at the very first jump, and being completely out of sync, he had to miss the second one. The pain on the knee became almost unbearable after a second fall and when he finally managed to land a triple axel his torso sent a pang that almost took away his breath. It could very well be that Lev gifted him with some broken ribs.

 

Yuri didn't actually care about the pain, though, but he couldn't help looking trough the crowd, searching for a pair of cold, grey eyes. It was the only thing he could think about so the rest of his program was such a disaster that the skater considered ending it like the only good thing of that nightmarish day.

 

Anyway, even that small relief was short lived. All too soon the boy had to meet the disappointed look in his coach's eyes.

 

Victor was looking at him in a strange, weird way. Was he more disappointed or angry at him? Yuri couldn't blame him in any case. He just hoped that the older skater would not ask any question because he had no idea what to say.

 

The few minutes waiting for the score were an all new nightmare. Yuri could very well imagine the nasty shit that people would write on him on every existing social network. They were probably already busy doing just that. A failure. A joke. A broken promise. Too young. A disappointment for all of Russia. Yuri Plisetsky was worthy neither of his coach nor his rival.  The funny thing was, it was all true.

 

He almost got up and went away without waiting for the score, but Victor, almost as if on cue, put an hand on his leg, as to remind him that he had to stay or he'd only make things worse.

 

So Yuri sat still, looking at his ridiculus score as if it was just someone else's bad dream. He was irreparably out of the podium. Even a perfect free program wouldn't help.

 

As soon as he was allowed, Yuri went away. Maybe Victor was telling him something, maybe not. He didn't want to know, he didn't even had the gut to meet the older skater's eyes again.

 

He just wasn't brave enough to face his coach's anger and reproach. He'd been such a waste of time for Victor, the other russian surely was regretting all the weeks spent training him. He could have dedicate every hour to his real, true champion. At least the Japanese still had to skate, he was going to be perfect and make Victor happy again.

 

Victor, though, only let him go long enough to be out of camera's reach before catching up with him an grabbing his wrist to stop him, since the boy kept on ignoring him.

 

“Yuri, what happened out there?” he asked in a neutral tone.

 

“Nothing, let me go!” Yuri could barely manage his anger. He was terribly mad at himslef for being so weak, but also at Lev for being a sorry excuse for a human being, at Victor for not letting him go, at the whole world just for existing.

 

But the coach didn't let go. It was _not_ nothing, one had to be blind to think otherwise.

 

“What do you mean, nothing? That was...”

 

“Awful. Pathetic. I know, right?”

 

“Don't put words in my mouth! It's just that I've never seen you skating like that, never. What went so wrong?”

 

If only the boy had had the courage to look at the older skater he'd have known that he wasn't angry, only worried and genuinely perplexed. Victor actually couldn't understand. Until that very morning his younger pupil had been in exceptional form. Could it be only that he'd been under too much pressure for his age? No, it didn't seem likely. The boy was young, but he was made of iron.

 

To make things worse Yuuri chose just that moment to join the party.

 

“Are you alright?” he tentatively asked the blond.

 

“Oh here you are! Where there's one there's the other too. Aren't you two cute?” Yuri snarled. He was rapidly loosing any self control he may still possess, but he just couldn't give a damn.

 

“What happened?” Yuuri tried again, ignoring the boy's rude words and coming a little closer in a gesture that meant to be reassuring, but actually was not.

 

“Oh no, not you too” Yuri said with a bitter smile, removing a lock of blond hair from his face with a nervous gesture.

 

At leas Victor finally had let go of his wrist, but the teen noticed that he had the wall at his back, now, and the other two skaters right in front of him, cornering him, albeit involountary. Not to mention a few other persons who were trying their best to look like they were meaning their own business, while they were actually enjoying the drama.

 

“Yuri, we just want to help” said the dark haired skater.

 

“Well, nobody asked you!”

 

This time Victor started to actually feel slightly annoyed. “Please, stop being childish!”

 

Those words, and the fact that the Japanese skater had put an hand on his shoulder, even if only to comfort him, finally made the teen snap. He didn't like to feel trapped, he needed to breath, to get free, to get out. The other two were too close now, and the wall at his back made him feel claustrophobic, so he acted before thinking.

 

It had worked the first time, after all, so he pushed Yuuri. Hard.

 

He'd just meant to get away from the other two, he hadn't even noticed that he could be quite strong when panicking and certainly he hadn't meant to send Yuuri flying on the ground, but it was just how it ended.

 

The other skater looked at him from the floor with a mix of surprise and hurt, while Victor rushed to his side to help him up without a single word. His silence, though was worth thousand words.

 

Yuri, then, just fled.

 

Thanks god for small mercies, he reached the dressing room without running into anyone. Even Mila was nowhere to be seen. He changed back, pocked around other people's bags until he found some real painkillers, then took his backpack and finally was out of the building for good.

 

He caught the first bus he saw, because it was dark outside and the man he was so desperate to avoid could be there in the shadows waiting for him. Maybe it was foolish to leave alone, but the boy just could not stay in that cursed ice rink any longer, also there were only a few people on the bus, so he could make sure Lev was not there, and for the first time in what felt like forever Yuri breathed a sigh of relief, while slouching on the first available seat.

 

As the bus went on, the blond felt his thoughts get clearer. Maybe he should have gone to the hospital, or even to the police, but the last thing he wanted was for that sotry to became public. Victor would know, and Yuuri too.

 

What if people knew that there had beena time in his life, when his father came home dead drunk and hit him, because he wasted family's money for a sport he considered good only for fags?

 

What if people knew that he'd been fool enough, once, to think that he could actually earn his own money to keep on skating?

 

That was when he'd met Lev for the first time. The man offered him easy money and Yuri, being only ten years old, fell right in his trap.  Lev took him in a desolate place by his car. It was a desert of cold and snow. Only barely on time Yuri understood what that monster really wanted to pay him for. Only barely on time he managed to get away from him, no matter that he had to run for miles in the knee deep snow. It still hadn't been soon enough, he'd let Lev's hands slip underneath his clothes, and touch, and explore, until they had made him dirty forever. 

 

Yuri felt so stupid, that time, so foul, that the feeling never entirely abandoned him, even after many years. He had just buried the bad memories as deep as possible, forgotten them at times, but never completely erased them. No, he could not allow people to know who he really was. God knew if there was still a shred of respect left for him in Victor's and Yuuri's hearts. Probably not, but still.

 

He sat on the bus for nearly an hour, until his phone ringing brought him back to reality. It was Victor who surely wanted an explanation and probably an apology. Yuri just couldn't make himself talk to him, though. Sooner or later he had to do it, he knew he owed his coach that much at least, for being such a disappointment, but not now. He silenced the phone and ignored that call and all others, including Yuuri's ones. He knew he owned him an apology too.

 

After a while the boy realized he had to start considering the option to get out of that bus, though. Looking through the window he realized he was in a suburb of Copenhagen, quite far from the center; he also noticed a small hotel and behind it, what looked like woods. It was at least a bit of luck. He had not really thought about where to spend the night, he only knew he didn't want to go back already, so that little hotel had to do. To pay cash in advance was enough to avoid questions where he came from. Turned out it was the same in Danemark too, so the boy settled in a room big enough for a bed and a desk, and nothing more, determined to spend there at least one night.

 

He wasn't hungry so he took a couple of pills and immediately went to bed, but he couldn't sleep for many hours, even if he was totally exausted. It was almost 2 a.m. when the the incessant vibration of his phone reminded him that just disappear for a whole night was not a smart move if he wanted to avoid even more trouble.

 

He didn't call his coach, thought. Maybe it was a cowardly way to act, but he preferred to settle for a less problematic conversation.

 

“Mila... I'm fine... let me talk, listen to me. I'll tell you everything” he lied “but now I need you to do something for me”

 

When his friend finally shut up Yuri told her what to tell Victor, mainly that he'd be back in time for the free program, and then hung up.

 

With that matter settled, albeit momentarily, Yuri finally was able to sleep, even if only for a few hours.

 

It was not a restful sleep. He dreamed of when he still lived with his family. Back then it happened sometimes that there wasn't enough food for everybody. Those days, when he came home after hours of training and sat with his family at the small kitchen table, he almost felt like stealing the food from his brothers.

 

 He also dreamed of his father reproaches. He could clearly see his face while the man told him that he had to quit skating already, that it was a waste of time, that he wouldn't succeed anyway, and that he was only wasting their money. Although the man himself squandered money on alcohol.

 

 And he dreamed of the night his father returned home drunker than usual, furious at being kicked out of his favorite bar for not paying his bills. That evening he'd started yelling at him earlier then usual. Yuri had managed to endure the insults for a while, but then he'd lost control too and blurted out whatever he thought about his father's very frequent trips to the bar. The man, then, just went crazy. He grabbed his son by the neck and slammed him on his knees on the floor, while holding his face pressed on the sofa cushions with such a force that for a few moments Yuri had been terrified he'd snap his neck. His father had taken off his belt, instead, and hit him brutally while his mother screamed and his brothers cried.

 

 Yuri woke with a start before the burning sensation of his father's belt's first hit could reach him. But he still could hear his mother's and siblings voices loud and clear. It had been a while since he had last made that dream.

 

He sat in the middle of the bed in the pale light of dawn, with his heart still pounding. That night his father left home for good, and while it had been a relief for Yuri in many ways, the young skater couldn't help feeling giulty too. Now that he was older he could also see how that moment was what had ultimately pushed him into Lev's trap.

 

Guilt made him think his father had left home because of him. Guilt made him think the least he could do to make up to his mother was to find some money to help the family. Desperate as he had been, alone and with his young age as his only asset, when that bastard Lev offered him easy money Yuri simply believed him.

 

He hid his face in his hands. Even if there was nobody to witness his weakness, Yuri fought back the tears as he always did when those things came back to his mind.

 

He'd been stupid and naive, but how much longer would he have to pay?

 

The young athlete decided to go out, then, even if it was barely dawning and it was freezing cold outside, because he knew that if he had to stay alone with his thoughts any longer he'd just go crazy.

 

Also, he couldn't allow himself to cry.


	2. Melodies of broken hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had two chapters planned for this story, but the second one became HUGE and I didn't want to keep you waiting too long, especially since you've all been so extremely kind with me <3  
> I decided to split the last part in two, so there will be one more chapter, probably by the end of the next week :)
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, you're amazing!!

It was an early and gray morning and Victor sat alone in his hotel room. The TV was on but he wasn't really watching it. He kept his phone close, hoping against hope that Yuri would call. Every now and then he still tried to get in touch with the boy, knewing perfectly well, at that point, that it'd be an useless effort.

Mira had explained a few things, the night Yuri left. Not that the girl had had much to say on the subject, but Victor knew that his young friend was fine, physically at least, that he had left on his own will and that he planned to come back in time for the free program.

Despite this, Victor was worried like never before. That dreadful short program couldn't be the cause for everything. There had to be something else, something more. But what? Maybe something happened, but when? During the morning training Yuri had been perfectly fine, in top form and looking forward to the competition's beginning. He knew that he'd parted from Yuuri for a short time right before his turn to skate, but what could have changed his mood so drastically in such a short period of time?

Also the teen's behaviour soon after skating had been disturbing and worrisome too. The blond never had a particulary cheerful or warm personality, but Victor knew he was not, and never had been, a bad person. And yet that night he'd been so full of hatred, so full of hanger that Victor almost had the sensation to be talking to a total stranger. It was all so hard to explain, it was driving the Russian skater mad.

Somebody knocked on the door distracting him from his gloomy thoughts. It was Yuuri, ready for another long day of training. He was tired and tense too. Just like Victor, he was clearly worried.

“Shall we go?” The younger skater asked, almos hesitant, as if hoping that Victor would say no. But why should he? It would change nothing, only leave more room for bad thoughts, and sitting in their rooms all day long wouldn't bring Yuri back to them any faster.

“Sure!” The coach answered with a forced smile that didn't fool Yuuri.

Training helped them to keep their mind occupied. Yuuri needed longer than usual to truly focus, but then everything went well, which was at least something to be happy about. He had been perfect with his short program and now he was one of the best candidates to the podium.

When the day was over the Japanese athlete was dead tired, but visibly more relaxed. Skating did this to him, always.

Victor seemd more relaxed too, so they changed and left the rink to have dinner somewhere nearby, before going back to the hotel. It was later than they had thought, the night was cold and windy and the streets were almost empty.

As soon as the two set foot outside, they heard the sound of shattering glass. Both turned with a start and saw that a man, obviously drunk, had hurled his empty bottle against the wall.

Nothing to be terribly surprised about, big cities often offered those kind of sad shows. The few passers by hurried away. After a brief glance to the scene Victor and Yuuri too went their own way, but the man started to yell something unintelligible.

They were in Danemark, but that guy was speaking russian and looked like he was talking right to them. It was a weird coincidence, one that could not be ingored, given how strange the last days had been. The two skaters couldn't help turning back to face him.

“Where is he? Where is that little blond slut?” The stranger said, switching to a barely comprehensible english.

Victor and Yuuri didn't immediately understand what he was talking about, but they both had an horrible premonition, so horrible that part of them really didn't want to know. The urge to go away and forget about it was strong, but clearly it was not an option.

The other came closer, staggering, the pungent smell of alcohol was perfectly distinguishable and totally revolting.

"It's you, right?" The drunkard said, pointing a finger at Yuuri. "I saw you with him, always together, this sucks!"

Yuuri didn't know if it was wise trying to talk back, but he had to say something. “I'm sorry, but who are you?”

The man didn't bother answering the question.

"Or maybe you?" This time he pointed his trembling finger at Victor, who was staring at him as impassive as a marble statue, with such fury in his eyes that if the other man had been at least a little clear headed he'd have run a thousand miles away, instead he only managed to dug his grave more deeply. "Oh right, now I understand!” He said as if he'd just had the brightest of the revelations. “You both fuck him. Such a stamina, that little brat, I knew he'd be fun!" Then he let out an irritating and loud guffaw.

“What... what are you talking about?” Yuuri tried again, but in his pounding heart he already knew. It was too much, though, too hard to believe. A grip, icier than the Danish night, seized his stomach. It was not possible, it could not be, such a monstrosity just couldn't be real, and yet it'd explain a lot.

Why Yuri had been so upset, why he had reacted so badly to their questions, why he'd run away as soon as he had a chance.

Totally unaware of how horryfing the things he had just said were, Lev went on, as if he was chatting about the weather. “I saw him first, you know. A long time ago. Tastes so good, that little runt. Why don't you lend him for a while to the good old Lev here? I won't ruin him... too much.”

He let go another coarse laugh, “hey, I can pay you!”

Victor was so fast Yuuri basically didn't see him move. That filthy man had not yet finished speaking that the other already had him pinned against the wall, with such a force that he nearly knocked him out.

“What did you do to him?” The russian skater growled, holding the other by the collar of the jacket.

Lev was so aghast for that sudden outbrust that he started to gape like a fish.

“Speak!” Victor ordered, slamming him against the wall again for good measure.

“Nothin! Nothing! I swear!” The man was clearly scared, now, and with good reasons too. Victor looked like he could kill him with his glare alone. His fury was cold like steal and just for that even more frightening.

Yuuri didn't know what to do. His suspicions were unfortunately proven correct, but his mind refused to accept that such an horrible fate had happened to his young friend. And right under their eyes. The teen was strong and independent, more than Yuuri ever hoped to be, but he was still just a child, everything was simply too horrible and unfair to accept.

The dark haired skater shared Victor's anger and disgust, but he could not let his coach go too far. He had not seen him like that, ever. Victor was usually calm and collected, sometimes he looked almost detached, Yuuri didn't even knew he had it in him to be physically violent, albeit he had every good reason in the world. Now the Russian skater truly looked like he was ready to kill that filthy pedophile.

Yuuri could understand the impulse all too well, but he just could not let his friend do it, especially since it was not clear if that disgusting man knew where Yuri was, and he still had to tell them what he had done to him.

“Victor, please...”

To Yuuri's big relief Victor relented, albeit only slightly.

"If you don't tell me right away where is Yuri I swear to God I'll kill you" the coach hissed to the man. He spoke in Russian, but Yuuri understood. Spending all of his time with Victor and Yuri he had also learned a bit of their language.

The drunkard realized he was in big trouble and began to whine. "I don't know, really, it's been two days since I last saw him. You've to believe me!" He added the last words looking at the Japanese skater, because he undertood that Yuuri was the most reasonable and probably his only chance to get out of that mess in relative good health.

"Two days," Yuuri repeated, mostly to himself, totally ingoring the plea in the drunkard's eyes. The short program's day, then. That part at least could be true. Things were finally starting to get clearer, but it was still not nearly enough. He did what he knew he should have done right from the start, he took out the phone since Victor looked like he wouldn't hold himself back much longer.

"I'm asking you for the last time, what did you do to him!"

"Nothing! I swear!"

Believe him or not, Victor too did what he had longed to do from the beginning: punching someone. He had just the right target. Despite his protests that filthy man clearly had done something to Yuri. If not there in Copenhagen then a few years earlier, he had basically confessed it himself.

So he hit him in the face with all his strength. He was able to ignore the pain in his right hand because he felt an immense, unhealthy satisfaction. So he struck again, not listening to Yuuri who was screaming at him to stop.

After a few seconds the older skater felt himself seized by two strong harms. It took him a few seconds to realize it was Yuuri, who was now hugging him from behing ad begging him. So finally Victor listened, and stopped. He was till furious, but he felt also tired, like drained of every energy.

“Thank you” he wispered, looking at the beautiful night sky, while reclining his head backwards on Yuuri's shoulder.

His friend didn't immediately let him go, not because he didn't trust him to behave, but beacuse he too needed that moment of physical contact. It din't last very long, though. The surveillance agents called by Yuuri a few minutes before arrived, and the dark haired skater had to let Victor go, but the coach was now immensely grateful to his older pupil for stopping him right on time.

Bless Yuuri and his soul. Sometimes it looked like he was the older of their lovely trio. He certainly was the wiser.

Predictabily they all ended at the police station. In a short time a video from the rink's surveillance cameras was recovered. The image was grainy, black and white, but it was clear enough. Lev surprising Yuri in the bathroom, forcing him into a kiss. Then kicking him repeatedly while he was on the floor.

And luckly, finally, thanx to all the gods above, Yuri running away before it was too late.

When the two skaters were allowed to go back to their hotel it was already dawn. Neither spoke. Neither knew what to say. A mixture of sadness, anger and grief prevented the words from coming out. They both decided to focus only on the good part, namely that Yuri had managed to run. Yet, it looked like it were too little and too late.

Their young friend had to face a challenge too hard for his age, too hard for any age, actually, and still he'd found the strength to skate in front of people and cameras. It was almost impossible to believe.

Victor went back to that disastrous night, he tried to remember what he had said to the boy soon after. Had he reprimanded him for that inexplicabile lapse in concentration? Had he been too harsh with him? He could not remember, he was too confused and worried and tired, but he hoped, with all of his heart, that he hadn't. And yet he couldn't help feeling guilty.

He was the adult, he should have realized that something was really wrong. He should have been more patient, instead he'd called Yuri childish. This he remembered clearly. And surely there was something he had done, or probably not done, to make Yuri think he'd to deal with all that shit alone, instead of asking for his help.

Yuuri's thoughts were not much different. He walked by his coach's side barely holding back the tears. Now he understood many things. No wonder that Yuri couldn't stand to stay in the rink any longer. And he too couldn't understand why the boy decided to endure everything alone. Why he had not come to any of them? Surely he had to know they would help. Surely he had to know he had friends he could trust.

Where was he now? Was he fine? It was highly unlikely. Was he at least safe?

The free skate was scheduled for the next day. More than twenty-four hours, if Yuri actually intended to come back. It looked like forever. The Japanese skater did not know whether he would be able to stand the wait.

The only positive note was that the monster had been detained by the police. There were evidence of sexual assault against a minor, it was more than enough. And the man himself had mentioned that he had already tried something like that years ago. That time too without success, or so he claimed.

Perhaps, Yuuri hoped, he would finally pay for that too.

As if reading his mind, Victor spoke in a low voice. "Ten years," he said as if those two words alone were too hard to bear. "Yuri was ten years old the first time that man..."

"Yes," was all Yuuri could say, just to keep the other from finishing the sentence. He could not think about it. He could not even imagine how hard had it been for such a young child to carry a burden like that. Had Yuri told his parents? Probably, knowing him, not. The boy was though, but this was too much even for him.

"What now?" Yuuri asked.

"We wait"

"But..."

"You know" Victor said, kindly, "Yuuri is very young and very talented. He's already quite popular among ice skating's fans. Medias just feed on people like him. If this story were to end up in the newspapers, there are too many things which might come to the surface. In a very wrong way.”

According to Lev, Yuri had been the one to offer himself to him five years earlier. Both Victor and Yuuri highly doubted that despicable man's words, but they also knew that Yuri's family had trouble in the past, that his father had left them, that only when Yuri had started to earn some money everything took a turn for the better.

They also knew that a ten years old child, especially one who is desperate enough, could very easily become the prey of a monster.

“Newspapers don't care about the truth” Yuuri admitted, feeling disgusted at the sole thought of what the press could do with such a torbid story. They could really ruin Yuri's life and the boy didn't absolutely deserve it. He had done nothing wrong and he'd already suffered more than enough.

“Exactly” Victor went on. “Neither do social networks. For now the best we can do to protect him is keeping this mess secret”.

“This is why you lied to the police?”

Victor just nodded. He had lied, indeed, and not only because of the press.

Social workers could be a problem too. He had promptly answered all the police's questions with half truths and half lies because he knew that, as well meaning as they would be, social workers could very well damage Yuri's carreer, or much worse, take him away from him mother, put him in some institute or foster family.

There were many things he didn't knew about the boy, but he knew how much he loved his mother and siblings, and to keep him away from skating would be the same as killing him. But one had to be like them to understand why a _simple_ sport could be so important. Explaining a passion to those who didn't feel it in their heart wasn't easy at all.

Still, he wasn't entirely sure he'd done the right thing.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” He asked Yuuri. He didn't want to put more pressure on the younger skater's shoulders, the poor thing was already distraught enough, but Victor really needed to know. He never had to face such serious problems, he was really trying his best but it was like wandering in a desert without a compass. Also Yuuri was wise and much braver than people often gave him credit for.

Truth was, the dark haired man didn't knew either. His instinct told him that Victor had done the right thing, but his logic said he shouldn't have lied. He wanted to be entirely honest, though. Victor was down spirited like he'd never seen him before, but he knew he had asked for an honest answer.

Besides, they were in that mess together.

“I don't know, Victor, I really dont”

“I see”

“But I like to think I'd have done the same thing”

Victor looked at him with his too intense stare and just the ghost of a smile. Yuuri could recognize the gratitude in his blue eyes.

The Russian stood silent for a while, and finally said “let's wait until tomorrow. If he doesn't come back, then we'll see”.

That gave them at leat some peace of mind for the time being. They could not protect Yuri before, but maybe they could help to cover his back for a few hours more.

It didn't mean the wait would be less nerve-wrecking.

 

*****

 

Yuri didn't even suspect what was going on in Copenhagen because in the desolate suburb where he'd temporarly settled he was slowly regaining a bit of peace and self control; it was more than he'd dared to hope. He knew it was cruel to let the others wait without a single word, but he needed that time for himself and himself alone.

If that meant he was selfih, so be it.

No explanations, no questions to answer, telephone permanently switched off after a quick call to his mother to say that everything was fine. Given the circumstances being left alone was a big achievement.

He enjoyed the silence, and he also received an unexpected surprise. Wandering around at dawn, after the first night he'd spent in that place, Yuri found a small, frozen lake. All around there was a crown of threes full of snow and nothing else. It was really pretty and so so inviting. He always had his skates with him, in his backpack, so as soon as he had set his eyes on the ice, he had automatically put them on.

The lake's surface was not even remotely smooth and intact as the ice he was used to, but the teen didn't care. The wind had swept away most of the leaves and twigs, the lake could serve his purpose just right. On the ice Yuri was in his element, calm, content, even. Not having to deal with the horrible sensation of two predatory eyes set on him was also a major plus. Besides it had been such a long time since he last had the chance to skate without the pressure of having to prove what he could do.

He just went around for a while, as if to get acquainted with the ice, then he positioned himself in the middle of the frozen surface and he closed his eyes.

The music of his short program played only in his mind, but it was enough. He knew it by heart, so he just had to let his body free to move, following the melody. Every move and every step just came naturally, and for those few minutes everything was perfect. It was like Yuri were a child again and his grandpa took him to the small rink holding him by the hand.

He had been so happy, back then, everything seemed a lot simpler. There were so many things he didn't know at the time, but he knew that his beloved grandpa was there for him, watching him, and it was enough. He could be himself and nobody would tell him off for liking girly things, or wasting money.

When he finished the program he knew that he had been flawless.

Too late, such a pity.

But there was still the free program. Yuri already knew that even if he did everything perfectly, it would not be enough to win, but he wanted to skate just the same. For his grandpa and for himself.

The idea of going back to the rink, and possibly right into Lev's clutches was revolting, though. He trembled at the mere thought but he'd worked too hard to be where he was and didn't want to let that filthy bastard to take it all away from him. Yuri decided to be rational, he convinced himself that the building would be full of people anyway, so he just had to stay in crowded places. He could leave the city and the country soon after and everything would be fine.

Right?

He spent every minute of daylight training on the small lake, trying and trying again, jumps, steps, spins, until his mind was entirely empty of every worry, and when he could no longer wait, he headed back in town.

When Yuri entered the rink's lobby he looked calm and collected, as if nothing happened, but his heart was beating fast.

When he felt someone halting him with an hand on his shoulder he almost jumped out of his skin.

"Look who's back! Where have you been?" It was... Tom? Or Tim-something? American just turned eighteen, he was in pair with some raven haired girl. Yuri barely knew them and he was not really happy that that guy was the first person to greet him. Than again, it could have been worse. He also was not happy at all with his own reaction. He had been sure he could deal with being back in that place, yet as soon as he had set foot in the building the tension had come back in full force and his apparent calm already looked like an house of cards.

"Mind your own business" the russian skater muttered. He was not in the mood for a pointless chat with a stranger. He had to talk to Victor sooner rather than later, and to Yuuri too. He could only hope Mira was busy with her own training. And of course he had to give more than his best on the ice. He really could not dwell on the fact that Lev was most probably in the building too, and he could run into him any moment, or he'd just go crazy.

Being in that place made him feel again the awful taste of that forced kiss. And the unwelcomed touch of the man's hands. And the force of his kicks. He already had to swallow half a bottle of the stolen painkillers to keep the pain at bay. No, he could not think about any of it.

The other athlete, anyway, was not put off. "Really, your friends were looking for you".

Yuri shrugged. It really was not surprising.

“Not their business, either”

“Are you going to skate the free program, today?”

“Of fucking course!”

“Hu? Hey, looks like someone is in trouble” the American teased, with a large, bright, irritating smile. Then he pointed behind the younger skater with a nod. Yuri turned around and saw that a few steps away, Victor was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

He felt his heart sink, he didn't know what to say to him any more now, than he had known three days before.

“Hum, hi” he managed, knowing perfectly well that it was not nearly enough.

The other answered with nod, before simply adding “please, come with me”.

Well, it was just the least one could expect. Yuri had acted on impulse but this did not make him stupid. He had disappeared for days, in the middle of a competition, he had ignored all of Victor's call. After giving such an awful display of himself.

He also had been violent, and he knew that some things were not easy to forgive, especially not to someone like him, whose bad attitude often tested the others' patience.

A scolding from his coach was really the least he could expect. Assuming that Victor was still his coach, which was not a given. It was likely the older skater would tell him he didn't want to train him any longer, so that he could dedicate himself entirely to his precious Yuuri. And even that, Yuri could understand. He had very soon learned that every action has a consequence.

It didn't mean it'd hurt any less, but Yuri had to be strong. He wanted to be strong. He knew he owed it to himself.

_This too shall pass_. His grandpa always told him that, when the boy was sad for something. He used to associate those words with a sweet smile and a warm caress of his large, gentle hands. And well, he had usually been right.

He'd find another coach. There'd always be other competitions to win. He knew his carreer was just starting. Then why Yuri felt like his world was falling apart?


	3. Melodies of hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright people, this is the third and last chapter of this fanfic, I hope you like it! I wanna thank you so so much for your kind words, the kudos, and for reading. I killed myself writing this, but I also had fun :P I already want to write more, so I hope my muse visits me again very soon ;)  
> Take care, all of you ^^

_Please, come with me_

 

Just a few words from Victor, in a totally neutral tone, and nothing else. It was still enough to make Yuri's heart beat even faster.

 

The blond skater was already half regretting his decision to come back. After all he was not as ready to face everything and everyone as he had thought. However he followed the older athlete into a secondary corridor, until Victor entered a room, probably at random. There was nobody inside, it looked like a small office with just essential furniture, but Yuri couldn't be bothered to notice the details.

 

Up close it was clear that Victor was... well, different. Was he upset? Mad? Yuri really couldn't tell, but surely the other skater was very far from his usual, cheerful mood, and the blond didn't like it, because he knew he was responsible for it.

 

The teen was so jumpy that when his coach, if he could still consider him that, lifted his hands he flinched, almost as if expecting to be hit. Rationally he knew perfectly well that Victor would never hurt him, physically at least, but Yuri was loosing control over his own emotions and that was scary in an all new way. However he didn't have time to dwell on it because he suddently found himself in the warmth of Victor's arms.

 

The other skater had pulled the boy toward himself and was now holding him tight, with an arm around his slim waist and an hand in his silky, golden hair. Victor did notice how on edge Yuri was, and he held him even closer, hoping it would be enough at leat to calm him down a little.

 

It was not what Yuri had expected, not even remotely, so he didn't know how to react. Victor was supposed to be yelling at him for leaving without a word, or scolding him for not answering his phone for days, or even telling him off for being stupid and childish and unprofessional. That, at least, would have been a predictable, comprehensible reaction, instead the older Russian was treating the boy as if he were something fragile and precious.

 

With anger and yells Yuri could deal, but with something like that? He simply lacked the necessary experience and felt totally disoriented. He stood still for a few seconds, not knowing what to do until his instinct kicked in and he tentatively let his own arms go around the solid mass of the other skater's body.

 

Yuri wasn't particulary fond of physical contact, and he surely didn't like being petted, but the way Victor was stroking his hair felt oddly good, and his embrace was so warm and reassuring the teen hadn't even imagined how much he had needed it, until that very moment. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt so safe, yet he could not help thinking that Victor's reaction was weird, excessive, maybe.

 

They had seen each other just a few days before, after all. The curiosity eventually won and albeit reluctantly, Yuri slowly pulled away.

 

There were many things the boy wanted to ask and say, but it was still difficult looking at the other in the eyes. They were so intense, so full of emotions Yuri couldn't decipher, and so so beautiful. Besides, Victor had never been particulary easy to read.

 

The boy gave up, eventually, and lowered his head, almost in defeat. They were still so close he could rest his forhead on the coach's chest, and when he felt the gentle touch of Victor's hands on his shoulders, the words came out of their own volition, but they weren't what Yuri had planned at all.

 

"I completely ruined your beautiful choreography".

 

Just as Yuri had not expected to be hugged, Victor had not expected those words. With so much going on the coroegraphy was really the last of his concerns.

 

Only, he didn't manage to tell the teen how little he cared about it at the moment, because Yuuri choose that precise instant to storm into the room, and he flung the door with such a strenght that Yuri jumped out of his skin, and even Victor flinched, albeit he knew the Japanese skater was coming, since he had hastly texted him as soon as he had seen the blond enter the rink's lobby.

 

Yuuri rushed to his younger friend and squeezed him even harder than Victor had, much to Yuri evergrowing astonishment. The blond was so surprised for those unexpected demonstrations of affection he almost didn't feel the pain in his still bruised ribs. 

 

“You're back, I was so looking forward to it! Where have you been? Are you ok?”

 

The emotions on the dark haired man's face were so sincere, the joy so pure in his warm brown eyes that Yuri was left speachless.

 

Really, it wasn't like he'd been missing for years.

 

There were many of his typical colourful expressions Yuri could have used to tell the other two they were acting crazy, but in the end he could only nod to answer Yuuri's last question, not trusting his voice. Yes, he was as ok as he could be, given the circumstances, except for a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow. Yet somehow it wasn't a totally bad sensation.

 

Why the other two skaters were so happy to see him was still a mistery, though.

 

So werid, the both of them...

 

“Let's sit for a while” Victor said with a small smile, pointing at a little, battered couch. And while Yuri sat near the armrest, as if he needed that barrier made of a few square centimetres of very synthetic leather, Yuuri sat right next to him, almost too close, as if he meant to protect him. Their coach took place right in front of them, on a woodeen coffe table.

 

Normally Yuri would have felt cornered sitting like that, with no actual way to run, if needed, but for once close proximity with other human beings was almost welcome. Then, for maybe the first time in his life, he saw Victor hesitate. The coach and Yuuri exchanged a brief look that didn't go unoticed, they suddently became a bit too serious, and the boy couldn't help feeling alarmed.

 

There was something odd going on, he knew it. Something bad, most probably. And he also knew right away he'd been a total fool to enjoy the warmth of those embraces, just a few minutes before. He should have known it was just the calm before the storm. He should have known he shouldn't have lowered his guard. He'd only made things more difficult for himself. Why did he never learn?

 

Then Victor finally started.

 

“Two nights ago we met a guy, a Russian man. He was totally drunk”.

 

And that was it. Already. More than enough.

 

Yuri went pale, he expected to be asked a certain kind of questions by the other two, he already had some of the answers, he even had forced himself to accept the possibility of running into Lev again, he'd basically put all of his energies into convincing himself he could deal, and now? A whole new scenario he hadn't foreseen at all unfolded in front of him. Yuri just didn't think he couldn't deal with it too.

 

It was as if that Lev had kicked him again, right in his still aching stomach. Why that sick man wouldn't just get out of his life? Victor had to know something now, or probably everything, and of course Yuuri too. God knew what that bastard had told them.

 

That Yuri was dirty and pathetic. That he was weak. He'd probably mentioned that nauseating kiss, surely _forgetting_ the part where he'd forced him.

 

Yuri was sure he had to look completely disgusting now, to their eyes. Maybe the other two thought he had brought it all on himself? Maybe they were mad at him for bringing them too into his own personal dark abyss? They were clean, and pure, while he was nothing more than damaged goods, and even worse, there was no way to tell how many people knew, besides them. The Federation could really get rid of him, and the sponsors too. He'd gone from being the golden boy of Russian Ice Skating, the rising star, to nothing more than a stain for their image.

 

The inpulse to get up and leave, again, was incredibly hard to fight, but he had to stay, he had to know. It was something similar to the morbid curiosity that makes people stare at a car crash.

 

“Go on” Yuri said simply. He couldn't have added much more even if he'd wanted too. The lump in his troath was now suffocating.

 

He was sure that whatever was about to come out of Victor's mouth could only be worse, but he just wanted to get it over as soon as possible.

 

Again, the other two exchanged a look.

 

This time it was Yuuri to talk. “He was out of his mind, he said... things”.

 

Go figure. Yuri closed his eyes, ha had to swallow before being able to find his voice “things that have to do with fucking, I guess?”

 

Yuuri cringed, it was no secret that his young friend had a dirty mouth and was not afraid to use it, but the Japanese skater really didn't like how Yuri had just associated something foul with himself, in such a casual manner, as if it were normal. He couldn't lie to him, though.

 

“Yes”

 

“Cool” Yuri said, in an acid, sarcastic tone, “and?”

 

“He said things...”

 

“You already told this part. What did he say?”

 

“He said he already knew you.”

 

Yuri felt his head spin. Why at every single turn that situation only worsened? He could only imagine the rest. As if telling Victor and Yuuri they had kissed wasn't enough, Lev had also told them that Yuri was a slut, that he'd been the one to go to him, that he'd followed him willingly as soon as he'd showed him the money.

 

How ironic it was, that Lev didn't even have to lie. Surely, back then Yuri had only been a ten years old child, with no idea of what was going on, but did it really matter? Did it matter that he had run, when he had already given Lev the time to touch him _everywhere_?

 

“Things went out of hand” Yuuri went on, oblivious of what was going on in his friend's mind “we had to call the police and then they found the security's video...” and that was when the Japanese skater had to stop because it was clear Yuri could take no more.

 

Victor took the boy's trembling hands in his own, ingoring the fact that his own hands were shaking too. He remembered that video all too well, how Lev had forced the boy to kiss him, how he'd hit him, and how he had spoken of Yuri after. If only he could punch him again! But there was something of the utmost importance he had to ask, even if he really feared the answer.

 

“Yuri, what did he do to you the first time you met?”

 

The boy lowered his head and almost unnoticeably shook it, hiding behing his golden locks. He really didn't want to talk about it.

 

“Yuri, please”

 

What was Victor asking for, anyway? In the end, however, the teen answered because he knew he couldn't avoid it. “Nothing. He did nothing. I didn't give him the time”. Now it was up to the other two if they wanted to believe it or not.

 

Victor, though, wasn't entirely convinced, and not because he didn't trust Yuri, but because he feared that, for some reason, the younger skater was afraid to tell the truth. Yet he couldn't let it go, it was due time Yuri had somebody by his side, to take care of him in that horrible mess, to guide him, even. As smart and independent as the blond was, he was still only fifteen and he had been left alone far too long.

 

He put two fingers under the boy's chin and gently made him lift his head. It was too important, so he insisted, hating himself for it because he could see how devasted his friend were.

 

“Are you telling us the truth?” He asked, as gently as he could.

 

Yuri, though, took it the wrong way. He jerked away and pointed his pretty eyes, now full of resentment and unshed tears, right into the other's eyes. “What? Do you want to know how filthy I really am? Are you afraid I can spread the infection?” Hostility came so easily to him, it was like a safety blanket, and he finally found in it the strengt to get up. Now he had every intention to leave.

 

Victor stopped him before he could take one single step, though.

 

“Sit down. Now.” He ordered, ignoring the Japanese skater's shocked look. He understood Yuuri's concern, and he didn't want to be too stern with the boy, but he surely couldn't let him run again. Not now, not in the state he was in, not while he was thinking such a thing. Especially since he knew that if Yuri went away now, he wouldn't come back.

 

The coach didn't rise his voice, but his tone didn't allow objections. “We'd never think that of you, do you understand?” he said, a bit harshly, maybe, but it was vital that Yuri truly understood that point. Then, given that the boy actually had sat down again, albeit reluctantly and still clearly angry and frustrated beyond measure, he relented.

 

“Yuri, do you realize nothing of this is your fault, right? Not this time, not five years ago. You did nothing wrong and nobody would ever think otherwise.”

 

He received no answer, though, so he tried again, almost pleading “Yuri...”

 

Finally, the other nodded, even if he didn't look convinced at all. It had to suffice, though, at least for now. Neither Victor, nor Yuuri had been so delusional to think that a simple conversation could be the cure for everything.

 

“You may need help, this is why I'm asking, and we want to be here for you” Victor finished.

 

“You have to trust us, please” Yuuri added.

 

Yuri sighed. He was too confused to think clearly. He was very far from feeling good, but he didn't know what he had to do to feel better. He wanted to go away, but he didn't want to be alone anymore. He still felt profundly ashamed, but as the minutes went by he felt an odd sort of relief into finally being able to share his horrible secret with someone else. Also he had promised himself to be strong, but he wasn't sure he could hold back his tears any longer.

 

Eventually he managed a few words, beacuse Victor was still waiting for a reply. He focused on the first question though, because he wasn't sure how to answer the second. _Do you realize nothing of this is your fault?_   And well, Yuri rationally knew who was the one to blame, then why did he feel so unworthy and ashamed?

 

“It's how I told you. He just... it's not what you think, ok?” That was all the boy could say because he was too close to the breaking point.

 

This time the other two believed him. Relief was written all over their faces. Of course something happened, but it was still extremely reassuring to know that their friend had not been hurt in the worst possible way.

 

Yuri didn't notice it, though. He was too busy trying to understand his own feelings, so when Yuuri asked in a small voice, concerned, unaccusing, “why didn't you come to us?” it was enough to make him finally crumble.

 

Too many questions without an answer, too many doubts. It was as if suddently he knew nothing of anything. The blond hated not being able to understand himslef, and he hated to look so weak and helpless. It was as if all the walls he'd spent years building around himslef had been teared down in a few minutes, and now he was suddently too exposed.

 

Yuri lowered his head and answered in a barely audible voice, after a short while, as if he had to think about it “I don't know”.

 

And it was really as simple as that.

 

Yuri didn't have a better answer. He honestly didn't know. He hadn't even had much time to think about it; he had gone on the ice soon after the aggression, and after that he could only remember wanting to leave so badly he hadn't been able to think about anything else.

 

He had simply followed his instinct, was it an acceptable answer? Probably not, he desperately wanted to have a better one, but nothing came to his mind, what could he say?

 

Tears finally started to roll down his cheecks. Neither Victor nor Yuuri had ever seen him look so small, so broken. Yuri was always full of energy and a real fighter, now it looked like the fire in him had been devoured by the shadows.

 

Victor felt the anger grow again within himself, seeing how much his younger pupil was suffering. It was so disheartening knowing that there was nothing he could do to change his past. And he wasn't sure he could do much to help, even now. The boy probably needed professional help, and who knew if his wounds would ever completely heal.

 

Yuuri, on his part, simply couldn't stand to see Yuri like that, so he just pulled the boy gently against his chest. He knew how Yuri hated to be treated as weak, but it really was not his intention, so he hoped with all his heart that the younger skater would let himself being conforted by a friend, because he sorely needed it.

 

The teen actually didn't protest. He really didn't have any more strenght to fight, and he felt like he didn't have anything to loose anymore, so he didn't resist neither Yuuri nor his own silent tears. He knew that he couldn't stop them anyway.

 

The other two could only let him cry. They gave him all the time and space he needed, knowing all too well how much those tears would cost their young friend. Yet, the boy needed them. He needed to let it all out in order to start to heal, and he strongly needed to see for himself that there was nothing wrong in crying, or letting friends help, especially not after what he'd to go through.

 

Also, they didn't trust themsleves to speak.

 

They patiently waited that Yuri were the first to talk, feeling that he was at a point where there was nothing, anyway, they could say to make him feel any better. After a while the boy dried his eyes with his sleeve and spoke.

 

“You're mad” he said to Victor, as a matter of fact. It wasn't even a question.

 

“What? No, I'm not”

 

“Bullshit!”

 

“Well, ok, I am actually very mad” the coach sighed, and judging from the blond's broken expression he knew he had to be much more clear, and soon. He raised his hand to stop the teen from talking. He had to be absolutely sure Yuri wouldn't misunderstand him on that point.

 

“I'm not mad at you, Yuri”. He even managed a small, sad smile, “I'm mad at that poor excuse for a human being, at what he did to you. At this whole mess in general. And I'm mad at whatever happened to you to make you think you had to endure all of this alone. But I could never, _ever_ , be mad at you. Why should I?”

 

The blond looked at him searchingly, as if he still couldn't decide if he believed his words or not.

 

Sensing his doubts Victor said with a brighter smile, hoping it could at least lessen the tension a bit “what, don't you trust you coach?”

 

Yuri nodded, still half leaning into Yuuri's chest. He'd probably feel deeply embarassed of himself for being so weak in front of the others, later, but right now he really was right where he wanted to be.

 

Also, the answer to the next question could require some external help.

 

“So, are you still my coach?”

 

Victor was nonplussed “what are you talking about? Of course I am. I mean, if you want me to be”

 

“Well, I royally fucked up, didn't I?”

 

“Well, I totally don't care” the older russian said without esitation. It couldn't be that simple, there were really many other things to say on that subject, but he felt like it was too much at the moment. Yuri absolutely needed to learn how to stop being so hard on himself, but that too took time and Victor doubted a few words could be enough to do the trick, especially given how confused the younger skater was at the moment. Actually, he hoped to be able to teach him that too, given the due time.

 

He also mentally bashed himself. If Yuri was so unsure of his coach's respect, esteem and affection, well it had to be because Vicotr himself had done a crappy job of showing how proud of him he was. That, at least, was something he had the power to fix.

 

It was good that Victor didn't plan to send him away, very good, but the teen was still too upset to find it in himself to be truly happy, so he abruptly changed the subject “who else knows about this?”

 

Yuuri answered hastly “no one, I promise. The street was almost empty, if somebody saw us they just assumed we had a fight with a drunkard. There is no way to connect it to you, unless one of us goes around telling people, which of course will never happen”

 

“But _he_ could tell more people, just like he told you”

 

“Well, basically he would admit assaulting you, and besides he's in jail, it'd be at least difficult for him to reach other people”

 

“What?” That was unexpected, and such good news Yuri sat straight again, looking at the Japanese skater with huge reddened eyes, still too bright with tears.

 

“Yes, the police took him, remember?”

 

“Right, but I thought... so you mean he isn't here, right?”

 

“No, he isn't. And Yuri, he'll never came close to you again”

 

Yuri run an hand through his hair. He'd spent the last few days trying to imagine how he should act if he met Lev, keeping himself ready as much as he could. He had actually been deadly scared because he knew that despite all of his bravado, in front of that man he was still like a ten years old child. That would give Lev too much power. Knowing that he actually didn't risk to meet him was, well, almost too good to believe.

 

Victor sensed his cofusion and added “there will probably be a trial, I guess you will have to testify, but whatever happens you have to know that you won't have to face him alone. Never again.”

 

To testify. To tell others in details what happened. Yuri had seen enough movies to know which kind of questions he was supposed to answer. It really wasn't on top of his priority list, but the blond knew it was the right thing to do, for himself and for whoever had to go through the same ordeal. Also he would have to tell everything to his mother. This would hurt her so much, but Yuri never liked to lie to her in the first place. It wasn't fair to keep a thing like that from her any longer. Yet he was starting to feel overwhelmed by all those news.

 

“You don't need to think about it now, ok?” Yuuri conforted him “but Victor is right, you don't have to do this alone”. He could only hope that concept would finally enter Yuri's pretty blond head, and that he'd finally realize that he could count on them for everything.

 

“Do you wanna go rest, now?” The dark haired skater finally asked, since his friend looked totally worn out and surely needed time to process everything.

 

“Right now? I can't, the competition starts in a short time”

 

“What?” the other two said at the same time. So Yuri really intended to skate, after all?

 

“Do you mean you want to partecipate?” Victor asked.

 

“Well, why else would I be here?”

 

“It's just...” Yuuri didn't quite know how to end the sentence. He didn't want to point out how shaken and exhausted the boy looked, because he knew this would only annoy him.

 

Victor came to his rescue. "You don't have to do that", he said. And it was true. Yuri could retire, he had every reason to. Noboy would blame him for it, nobody would think he were weak. He was so young and he had such a huge talent, with so many other chances waiting for him in the future! Yuri really didn't need to be so demanding of himself. And he had to know that he was free to say no, that he could stop, that as a coach and as a friend Victor would sill be immensely proud of him. Hell, he already was, much more than he could ever express with words, but probably that stubborn boy didn't know it yet.

 

Yuri shook his head with conviction, "but I want to!" He said, more determined than ever. He was actually exhausted, but he needed to prove himself more than ever. Victor was still his coach, though, and he could forbid him. This time Yuuri kept silent and let Victor decide.

 

The older skater actually had to think about it. It was evident the boy wanted to skate with all his heart, he even took the risk of running into his aggressor, coming back to the rink. He didn't want to take the chance away from him, but Yuri really had been under too much pressure. Did he really need more?

 

The problem was, Victor never had to deal with abused children, so he totally didn't know how to act. And Yuuri couldn't help. But they both were professional skaters, they could at least understand why it was so important to Yuri.

 

“Alright” Vicotr decided, at least, “on two conditions”.

 

“Ok” Yuri said reluctantly. Conditions could be a tricky thing after all.

 

“We're going to the infirmary first”

 

“But...”

 

“No buts, this is not negotiable, kid”

 

Yuri evidently rolled his eyes at being called a kid, but he could recognize a lost cause when he saw one. After all Victor had seen what Lev had tone to him and as a coach he could be, well, inflexible, so the younger athlete didn't even try to argue.

 

“If the doctor says you can't skate than you'll have to retire”

 

“Ok, fine, have it your way. The second?”

 

“Whatever happens today, you have to remember I'm proud of you”

 

Yuri's heart skipped a beat. He had come back fearing that Victor would be so disappointed in him to the point he didn't want to coach him anymore, and it had felt beyond awful. Now those simple words, coming right after knowing that Victor still wanted to coach him where like a much needed balm on his soul. He just nodded, simply refusing to start crying again in front of the other two.

 

That second point, though, was even more important to Victor than the first one. He had to be sure Yuri knew he'd believe in him no matter what. “Promise me?”

 

“I... I promise.” Trust really didn't come easily for Yuri, but he wanted to try, for Vicotr and for Yuuri too.

 

“Well, then, we have a deal” Victor said, and he only half jokingly extended his right hand to Yuri. The blond took it and skook it, sealing the pact.

 

“So, shall we go?” Yuuri finally said, after a quick look at the clock. He really didn't want to rush Yuri, but there wasn't much time left. At least now that a few things had been cleared he felt a lot lighter then when he had entered the room. The conversation wasn't over, but now there was a competition to think about. The rest would come later. Yuri was actually immensely relieved to have something else to focus on for a while, it was a much needed break.

 

Victor was the first to get up, he headed to the door and, as they always did, the other two followed him. 

 

The trip to the infirmary at least went well, and Yuri was allowed to skate. The doctor even gave him a some painkillers to dull the remaining pain of the bruises Lev had left him. Nobody asked how he'd dealt with them in the past few days, assuming he'd simply endured the pain, and that was at least a bit of luck in that unfortunate mess. Yuri had the strong sensation that confessing he'd stolen someone else's pills, and swallowed unprescribed medications as if they were candies, would actually bring him some serious scolding.

 

Adults tended to disapprove that sort of things. And since he already knew he had done a very stupid thing, he was glad he could go away with it.

 

When he finally stepped on the ice, predictably the first thing to come to his mind was how it ended the previous time, and this took away a bit of his usual confidence. He also remembered how horrible it had been to think that his aggressor was among the crowd, staring at him. That memory tasted like a nightmare, but Yuri didn't want to give it any more strenght. He knew that man would haunt his dreams for a long time, but the days still belonged to him. By day Yuri could, and would, keep his own demons at bay. Maybe with some help by his friends?

 

This still was a foreign concept, counting on others, he had to get used to it.

 

He also had to force himself not to think that he was, somehow, under examination. He had started the Grand Prix as a very likely candidate to the podium. He had made a terrible short program, though, and now everyone looked at him to see if that had only been an accident or if Yuri Plisetsky was just a good for nothing pretty face.

 

He took the starting position, closed his eyes and tried to get back with the memory to his lake, remembering the peace he had felt when he'd skated totally alone and only for himself. Then the music came, and all the tension suddenly disappeared. His body began to move, fluid, elegant, landing jumps with surgical precision and infinite grace. Every step, every spin, even the most difficult elements came naturally and apparently without any effort. He performed throughout the program as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

 

When he finished Yuri returned to the present and saw that the audience was more than ecstatic. His performance had been simply outstanding. The score, indeed, was stratospheric and his personal best. Victor was basically beaming by his side, again the coach put an hand on Yuri's leg while waiting for the score, not to hold him there as the boy had supposed right after the short program, but as a reassuring gesture.

 

Too bad it was not enough for the podium. The competition wasn't over yet, but Yuri could do the math pretty well. The disappointment was not scorching as he would have imagined, though. He already had a few days to get used to the idea of not winning, so in the end he managed to accept the defeat quite gracefully. Resignation, sometimes, could be a good thing.

 

As soon as Yuri left the kiss and cry, Yuuri, who had to skate in the last group, came to him for a few minutes, his eyes bright with unshead tears. “That... Yuri, that was so beautiful!”

 

“Cut the crap, you sappy bastard” the blond dismissed him, but he couldn't hold back a smile that the older skater promptly returned.

 

“Just don't disappear again, ok?” Yuuri said, since he just couldn't stay much longer. Victor gently squeezed the younger skater's soulder as if to reaffirm the statement. The blond exchanged a look with him and nodded, he actually didn't have any intention of leaving. He was too exhausted to go anywere, and he wanted to see Yuuri skate.

 

He was done running, anyway.

 

Suddently someone leaned an heavy arm around his neck and hugged him from behind. Yuri recognized the voice, and the style, even before seeing the face, "don't worry guys, I'll keep company to this little angel while you're busy!"

 

It was Mila. Not many people dared to call him _little angel_  to his face.

 

“Good” Victor said with a knowing silme. He trusted the girl, he knew she cared for Yuri deeply, he just hoped she wouldn't strangle the other skater in her enthusiasm.

 

The blond, infact, was already trying to get free without much success. "Who invited you? Let me go!" He tried to push her away, but Mila was much stronger than him, and almost equally stubborn. She only gave him enough room to breath, but didn't completely let go.

 

"Come on, let's go find a slice of cake, we'll be back on time to see Yuuri. Diet is suspended immediately after a competiton, didn't you know?" she chirped, already dragging her friend away.

 

"Stupid witch, ladies free is tomorrow, your diet is not suspended at all!"

 

“Fine, then. You eat, I talk”

 

“Oh God no!”

 

Yuri didn't protest too much, though, Mila wouldn't let him go anyway and after all a cake was the best idea of the week. He was actually starving, so in the end he followed her, albeit he knew the red-head would ask a lot of questions too. Yuri owned her some explanantion, though, so he couldn't get away. Not that he really wanted to.

 

Before leaving with her, Yuri turned to his Japanese collegue one last time. “I'm sorry I pushed you”, he said, and he actually meant it. Then he left with a wave of his hand at both Yuuri and Victor, without waiting for a reply.

 

The Japanese skater didn't have one. He had already forgotten about that little incident, and he was simply happy to have Yuri back. He actually was looking forward to truly compete against him. When in top form the teen was a formidable adversary, things were much more interesting when he was around.

 

Yuri, on his part, already couldn't wait for the next season to start. The battle had just began and it promised to be amazing fun.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
